The Marshmallow Principle of Success

What do marshmallows have to do with success? A study conducted in the 1960s by Stanford University researcher Michael Mischel showed that there is a strong correlation between delayed gratification and long-term success. In this study, 4-year-old children were given one marshmallow and were told that if they could wait until the researcher returned from running an errand before eating the marshmallow they would be given one more marshmallow.

About on-third of the children ate the marshmallow right away. Another third waited for a few minutes, but could not resist the temptation and ate the marshmallow before the researcher returned. The last third of the children were able to wait 15-20 minutes until the researcher returned and were rewarded with the extra marshmallow.

Several years later they followed up with these children and found that the one third that had demonstrated the ability to delay gratification and control impulse became successful, well adjusted young adults and continued to enjoy success later in life. These individuals were more positive, were able to motivate themselves, and had the ability to persist when facing difficulties in pursuing their goals. As a result they had more successful marriages, more money, better satisfaction in their jobs, and better health.

The one-third of the children that could not delay gratification and control their impulse faced more difficulties later in life, and they were found to be more troubled, stubborn and less likely to achieve long-term goals. These individuals were usually easily distracted and had difficulty concentrating in preparing for an important event such as a big test. These problems followed them throughout life resulting in less successful marriages, low job satisfaction, poor health and a more frustrating life.

Joachim de Posada, a renown motivational speaker, has leveraged this study to create the Marshmallow Principle which he describes in detail in his book Don't Eat The Marshmallow…Yet!: The Secret to Sweet Success in Work and Life. The book describes the difference between success and failure using a parable and real life examples. It is based on the idea that success has more to do with delayed gratification than hard work or superior intelligence.

Think about how this principle contrasts to recent trends in society to seek immediate gratification. Are these trends detrimental to the success of future generations? Are we teaching our children the right tools for achieving success?

This study seems to imply that success is to a great extent an inherited trait. Those that were born with the right genes and who are able to naturally control their needs for immediate gratification will be more successful than those that were not as lucky. However, other studies have shown opposing views that go as far as attributing success completely to effort and practice, regardless of natural talents. De Posada believes that the truth lies somewhere in between. According to him your genetic blueprint will have an important impact on your ability to be successful, but the environment has just as strong an effect. In other words, the skills required for success can to a certain extent be learned, and even those that were not naturally gifted have an opportunity to learn the behaviors that lead to success. The nature versus nurture debate presses on.

Delaying gratification requires discipline, persistence and strong will. These are virtues that you find in many successful people. If you were not born with these traits, you should develop them through training and practice. The next time you feel the urge for immediate gratification, remember the marshmallow principle.

Success Is In Your Mind

Success is in your mind. Regardless of your definition of success, most people would agree that success starts with your thoughts, your ideas and your beliefs – in other words, your mind. The realization that the source of success is contained in something as abstract and as fragile as thoughts and ideas can be both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. It is a great feeling to realize that with the power of your mind alone you can achieve anything you want, and you can reach the success that you so desire. On the other hand, ideas and thoughts are very fragile – they quickly come and go.

Is success something that can be obtained or lost as easily as a thought that passes through your head in an instant? I think the answer can be yes and no.

Some of your thoughts and ideas are more permanent in nature. These are the beliefs, the habits, the personalities, and all the other intricacies of the mind that make up the core of who you are. Knowledge, skills and abilities are other components of your mind that have a somewhat permanent component. However, some knowledge and skills can lose their strengths if not put to practice, and new skills and knowledge can be gained through study, practice and experience. A person’s beliefs, habits, personalities, knowledge, skills and abilities are critical components of success that will not fade away or be lost in a passing moment.

However, there are thoughts and ideas that can be critical to your success that can be lost in an instant. These are the observations, insights, clarifications, or just ideas that flash through your head in a moment of inspiration. Most people don’t pay much attention to these special occasions when your mind reveals to you something that if acted upon could result in a significant opportunity. It is easy to discount these thoughts as just silly ideas, and forever lose them. In your anxiousness to get on with the tasks of your busy life you may disregard these thoughts and risk losing the opportunity to act on something that may be the chance to reach the success you desire.

Take Time to Think

Successful people understand the importance of spending quality time doing high level thinking. You should schedule at least 30 minutes to one hour each day when you are alone and your mind is free from clutter and distractions. Use this time to let you mind flow and reveal to you the fragile thoughts that you may dismiss when you are busy with other things. When those thoughts come to you, don’t discard them. Let them fill your mind with the possibilities and with your dreams of success, unrestricted by any constraints.

Get in the Habit of Writing

You never know when great ideas will pop in your head. Therefore, it is very important that you always carry with you a notebook and pen to jot down your ideas as soon as they come to you. This notebook can also be very useful for writing down observations that will help you become successful. If you run into a successful person that you admire, write down the habits, mannerisms, qualities, or anything else about this person that stands out. If you observe something that is done with excellence, or high quality, be it a product or a service, write it down. Fill your notebook with lessons learned, conclusions you have reached, resolutions you have made, goals you have established, observations you have made, and just about anything that will help you solidify your thoughts around success.

If you enjoy writing, you may consider starting a blog. A blog will help you develop the habit of writing on a regular basis, of organizing your thoughts, of coming up with ideas and topics that you want to share with others. One of the advantages of having a blog is that you know your material will be read by others and this forces you to put a little more effort into your writing, to concentrate a little more, and to think a little more about the things that are important to you. This in turn may spark additional thoughts and ideas that can be the topic of a future posting. Pretty soon will you have a journal of your own thoughts, a source of wisdom that you can refer back to, and a historical recollection of each step in your personal growth.

Here is what Michael Gerber, the renown small business coach and bestselling author of The E-Myth Revisited has to say about writing as he discusses how an entrepreneurial vision starts to take form:

“Take out your ‘Notes to Myself’ and begin to write down whatever, and I mean whatever, comes to mind. Just let it all come out. Write, write, write, to release the flood of impressions you are experiencing, because within that flood is gold from high up on the mountain above you. See it. Feel it. Think about it…. Pour your heart onto the page of your life”

Your roadmap to success is hidden like a treasure in deep thoughts inside your brain. Writing will make it easier to dig for that treasure, forcing those deep thoughts to flow to the surface, so you can capture them and use them as your guidance in your success journey. With this let me assure you that you are one step closer to your Success. Never give up and you will make it!

The Secret of Success When You Don’t Feel Like a Success

In your success journey you are likely to run into some bad days. In fact, some days will be really rotten, when nothing works, and you feel like your efforts are wasted. When this happens you may get discouraged and start questioning the very reason for why you are doing what you are doing. Then your mind starts wondering if something is wrong with you. You start to ask: “Why can’t I have the same success as many other people that I know?”

Let me tell you straight up - there is going to be some bad days. You are not always going to feel like a success. It happens to everyone, including the most successful people in the world. The secret of success is to keep ongoing, even when you don’t feel like a success. The feeling will pass, but your ability to stay the course, and reach success, will depend on how you react to this feeling.

Yaro Starak from Entrepreneur’s Journey wrote a related article called “How to Remain Productive When You Feel Like Giving Up” The article talks about the importance of creating some sort of positive output that will get you closer to your goals, even when you don’t feel like it. Even if you take just one very small step that will get you just a little bit closer to where you want to be - instead of just laying around and not taking any action - will positively impact your mood and put you back on track.

Yaro also touches on a very important subject, which is how you react to other people’s success. Do you find it motivating? – “If he could do it, so can I!”. Or do you find it resentful? – “Why can’t I have his success?” If you ever find yourself letting your mind wonder towards the latter, snap out of it. Get your mind busy with something else and don’t let those negative thoughts foster around your head. Listen to what Yaro has to say from an entrepreneur's perspective:

“Your mind is your greatest asset for success in business, but it can be just as strong a force of hindrance, sabotaging your efforts, destroying your work ethic and leaving you with no option but to return to the soul destroying job you promised yourself that you would never go back to.”

When you don’t feel like a success, here are few things you can do to get yourself back on track in your success journey:

Take a Break

If you need a break, take it. Go do something fun and get your minds off your problems for a little while. Once you are refreshed get right back to it. Don’t confuse taking a break with what Yaro was telling you not to do, which is to lay around resenting your situation. Also don’t confuse it with procrastination, which is putting off a problem indefinitely. A break is a purposeful change in your current cycle so that you can get your mind refreshed. You must go into it with the full intention of getting right back to business when you are ready.

Work Out

Working out is a great way to get your mind and body re-energized. If you are in a bad mood or depressed, get your body moving and pretty soon your mind will snap right back into a motivated state.

Count Your Blessings

As bad as things may seem to be, it could always be worse. Take some time to think about all the good things you have going for you, many of which you may be taking for granted: your health, your family, or even the fact that you were able to feed yourself today. If you are not starving today, just realize that there are many people in this world who would be thrilled to have what you have.

Read a Good Book

There are many great books out there that can help you get back in a motivated mood. There are a few good ones listed in the book review page on this site. Look for something that will inspire you – the autobiography of someone who has done what you want to do is always a good choice.

Talk to a Friend

Find someone you like and trust and share your concerns. Sometimes just talking about your problems helps alleviate the weight on your shoulders.

If there is just one thing I want you to remember from this post, it is this:

When the day comes when you don’t feel like a success, remember that I warned you that this day would come. Then realize that this feeling is a natural part of the success process. Follow some of the suggestions above if they help, but never give up on your success journey.

Here is to your success!